It happening all over again. It feels like something has taken over me. It constantly feels like someone has their hands around my neck, loose enough to keeps alive but tight enough to slowly suffocate me. I don’t have a single person to talk to anymore. Sometimes I honestly think to would be easier to kill myself, no one acts like they care anyways. But then I always tell myself that would be the weak thing to do, and I should let myself keep suffocating. I like to pretend that maybe in the long run this will all make me stronger. Maybe I won’t be too nice anymore, or cry anymore, or care anymore. I’m just to a dead end now. I thought this would all stop when I went to college. I finally got a new start away from everything that ever hurt me. I was clearly wrong because here it’s just as bad. It seems that nothing will ever get better, I’m trapped.
I need to spend like an hour tomorrow and type some long rant because that’s what this blog is for anyways
- You are stronger than you realise.
- You are crueller than you realise.
- The smallest words will break your heart.
- You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
- People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
- You won’t like your name until you hear someone say it in their sleep.
- You’ll forget your email password but ten years from now you’ll still remember the number of steps up to his flat.
- You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
- Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again.
- Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
- You will be scared of all kinds of things, of spiders and clowns and eating alone, but your biggest fear will be that people will see you the way you see yourself.
- Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
- You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.
- Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive.
- You can love someone and hate them, all at once. You can miss them so much you ache but still ignore your phone when they call.
- You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
- You will always be hungry for love. Always. Even when someone is asleep next to you you’ll envy the pillow touching their cheek and the sheet hiding their skin.
- Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
- People say I love you all the time. Even when they say, ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’ or ‘He’s an asshole.’ Make sure you’re listening.
- You will be okay.
- You will be okay.
LITERALLY HATE YOU
i apologise to every puppy that i havent patted yet and i’ll be there soon pal
every girl in the universal regardless of ethnic background, class, sexuality, etc knows the universal mating call of the straight male